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St. Peter sings, ‘Be Our Guest’

I have a friend. His name is Jerry. Jerry comes over to our house almost every day. Sometimes twice or three times a day. I’d like to thank TNT for bringing him over.

Jerry and I have fun solving crimes and chasing down murderers. Or sometimes we vacation in the Catskills. He has a wealth of funny one-liners and puns that never fail to make me laugh. Sometimes Jerry brings his other friends to play, like: Jack and Ed and Mike and Anita. Other times he brings his daughter ‘Baby’ and we go dancing. Once, he brought his girlfriend the feather duster.

Sadly, Jerry has passed away. I feel like someone in my own family has died. What a horrible day.

In tribute, TNT should broadcast all of my favorite Orbachian shows and films. They should have an all day marathon playing, Law and Order, Beauty and the Beast and Dirty Dancing. I don’t know if it will be enough to make me feel better. You will be missed, Jerry.

(feel free to eulogize Jerry in the comments!)